


Naval Troll has Ships.

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [63]
Category: NTverse
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, M/M, Setting people up, nonsensical, obviously, vague plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-29 06:13:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13921071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: NT tries to get his best friends to go on a date with him as the Third Wheel™.But it's 1945, and the fourth wall has been annihilated.





	Naval Troll has Ships.

**Author's Note:**

> Another crackfic from the glorious NTverse. I chose this 'fandom' because I noticed recently that it's actually existed for over a year now. I have pages upon pages of complex notes which go into every nook and cranny of this AU. They start at literally the beginning of time and end at present day (even dipping into the future a little), showing the span of time within this weird AU/fandom. I'm not sure which it is, since it started out as a LotF AU and ended in me trying to cross over as many fandoms as possible. Therefore, it's kind of its own thing at this point.
> 
> Enjoy~

Chapter Text

Lunch time had always been the craziest part of the day for Peter and his best friend San. They shared most classes together, which was fine, but at lunch they were with their third best friend, Naval J. Troll, for an unnecessarily long time.

Peter arrived first, as usual, and sat down at their typical table. No one else approached him. Despite girls and sometimes boys giving him looks of open admiration from across the room, people never dared to go near the table of the most insane person in school. Biting into his ham sandwich, he waited for San to show.

He did, racing into the canteen with his brown locks bobbing up and down as he ran. When he reached the table he was barely breaking a sweat. Grinning weakly, he took the seat next to Peter. Their shoulders brushed together, and a blush heated his cheeks.

"Hey. NT not here yet?" San asked as he pulled a small purple ticket out of his hand. Peter frowned and took it from him. His eyes widened, "H-hang on! What are you doing with that?" The blond teenager huffed irritably.

"Buying you a better lunch, of course. The food they give you for free is always the worst. And no, he's not yet. That always means he's planning something weird, so be careful." Peter glanced down at his best friend to see the alarmed look in his hazel eyes and the faint redness of his face. So he'd accidentally embarrassed him. Great.

"Y-you don't have to waste your money on me... I'll be fine. Honest." That was a lie and they both knew it. San worked for a sleazy mechanic on the other side of town. They never got any business due to hardly anyone owning a car, but the shop attached to the repair yard was fairly popular. Still, no child would be working there unless they were really desperate. The brunet skirted around the issue anytime Peter asked him about it, but he knew that something was wrong at home and he needed to support his best friend as much as he could.

After all, you do anything for the one you love, right?

Yes. That's right. Peter Oxenstierna, strict Catholic, pure, disciplined, smart, handsome, their school's Golden Boy, was a raging homosexual. And what made it even worse was that the boy he'd so sinfully fallen for was none other than his best friend since Year 2, San. No last name. He didn't have one. It was just San.

Just as he was about to respond to the brunet's awful lie, a loud scream tore across the canteen. Everyone around them ignored it. They were used to it by now. But the two boys looked up to greet their Captain.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA TAKE YOU GUYS ON A...." That dramatic pause sent a chill down Peter's spine. Anytime Naval Troll (that was his real name; and despite his parents both having normal names with the surname 'Clive'; Naval Troll did not seem to share this. Calling him Naval would offend him so deeply that he'd accidentally blow up the entire school, so everyone just left it) paused dramatically, he was going to cause some drama.

" **DATE-O**!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Peter inadvertently face-palmed, whilst San's jaw dropped.

Sliding elegantly across seven tables as the students sitting at them screamed in disgust, NT stopped just in front of them, bowing to the people who gave him such incredulous stares.

"And why, Chief, would we ever, ever agree to that?" The blond asked slowly, watching the amber of his Captain's eyes flicker like a freshly ignited fire. His brilliantly groomed, jet black moustache which he had apparently been born with and never brushed once, twitched in response to the question.

A weird moment of silence.

Then he yelled, "BECCCCCAAAAAAAAAUSE!!!!!!!! I **SHIP** you guys!"

More silence.

Then San slowly said, "So... Why does that mean we have to go on a date with you?"

NT gave them an amazing poker face. Peter hadn't even really he was capable of such a lack of expression.

"BECCCCCAAAAAAAAAUSE!!!!!!!! You BOYS are going on THE date, AND I'm WATCHING you!" Peter's hand made its way to his face yet again. Several times.

Finally he gained the composure to speak, sneaking at quick glance at the adorable blush on San's face as he did so. He wished that he was gay too.

"You know that this is 1940-something, and two guys going on a date is illegal, right?" The look on Naval Troll's face indicated that no, he did not know that.

"Wait, WHAT? I thought IT was 2018!!!!!!!!!!!!!" xd

"No, it's 1945 and we're in post-WW2 England, in a canteen, talking about homosexuality which is apparently a sin." San calmly stated, moving to take the free meal ticket from Peter. He darted away.

"B-but FREE MEAL TICKETS don't EXIST yet!" NT's expression would have been hilarious had it not been NT.

"Yes, yes they do. They've existed since 1907. Except they were only purple tickets in the 70s, meaning that this entire school isn't historically accurate." Peter also remained calm as he broke the fourth wall effortlessly. None of them really needed to stay behind the fourth wall considering the nature of their universe, so they broke it often just for fun.

"T-that's JUST not true!" Tears were forming in the boy's eyes. His voice was that of a fully grown man's, however. The fact that being half angel had made parts of him immortal was really weird. The moustache, the voice and the Naval Chest™. Nothing else was immortal, only those three things. Strange.

(r Things. Exist in this universe.)

"Regardless of whether it's true or not Chief, we're 12 and being gay is like, totally illegal." The brunet remarked from his seat, having given up on arguing with Peter. The blond boy always won anyway. Really he should have been the captain of their future naval crew, but NT's astonishing personality meant that he shone out like the sun in the night sky, making him the perfect naval captain for their ragtag crew of a selkie, a Death Note owner, a pirate, a flag, a talking sentient author-insert Realm Crystal, a cute girl who was actually a boy and not really that cute appearance-wise, a Shinigami-turned-machine gun and the Antichrist.

Crackfics, everyone. Welcome to them.

So they ended up not going on that date, but fortunately five years later when Peter found out the truth about San's job (turns out he actually had three, one of which was much less than savoury), they ended up getting together as he helped the brunet to achieve a happier life. It was a few weeks later, on July 17th 1950, that the crew of three joined the naval training academy, and by February 21st 1951, they were a legitimate naval crew. By that point Chrystie the Realm Crystal had joined them, and it was because of her that Judon and Mecha (a man and a machine gun respectively. They had been happily married for several months when they joined the crew.) ended up being a part of the crew as well.

As for the flag, it rocked up about 1952, and finally our seventh (technically sixth since the flag doesn't really count despite its yandere tendencies) crew member was discovered in 1954. Despite this, the first time he joined the crew on an expedition was in 1959 (aged 16) and he became an official member in 1961, ten years after the first expedition. It had been a whirlwind of an adventure, and finally it drew to a close.

Apparently that's what happened after Naval Troll burst into the canteen screaming about shipping his two best friends when they were all twelve years old and attending a school in a town in a war-ravaged country in the year 1945.

The end???

**Author's Note:**

> I had to do a bit of research on historical context for this. Year 2 is the English equivalent of 1st grade (age 6-7 for those who don't have a Year 2 or a 1st grade).
> 
> Fandoms in the AU (thing)- Lord of the Flies, Death Note, Ninjago (LEGO multiverse in general actually), One Piece, Hetalia, Song of the Sea, Ib, Vocaloid (mentioned sort of), the Bible, and a whole ton of other things mixed in there.
> 
> Prompt- Someone setting two people up.
> 
> In hindsight, this totally should have been Cartman and Cupid Cartman going around setting people up, or just Cupid Cartman trying to make Kyman happen.
> 
> Original Number- 284.


End file.
